i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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