big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
