When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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