Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.