Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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