So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
