He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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