Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize