i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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