Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
