I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
