it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
