Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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