another moral hangover. fuck.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
