He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
