I heard we made out
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
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I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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