you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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