and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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