Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Say something about gay babies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
