hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
