The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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