Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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