Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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