Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
