i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
