He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
