Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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