hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
