dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
