You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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