I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.