I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
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I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
sex in a hospital.. check
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?