sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.