physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.