I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food