Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.