so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
handjob tips. give me some.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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