So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
