If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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