Yo dont text me then not text me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
