I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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