Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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