maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
