Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it was like eating out sand paper
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
