if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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