Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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