i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
