if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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