she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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