I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
