just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
