You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
