I want to have your abortion
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize