1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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