this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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