I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
