hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
