Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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