he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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