from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
