I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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