I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
